Soaring

Best quote of the day, so far, and do I not just like the guy who spouted it: “Asking Americans to make coffee is like asking them to draw a map of the world”.

You may pause now, make yourself a cup of coffee and then proceed to draw a map of the world. Please do include rivers since they make such lovely reading. The ”Nile” will score nil point.

Bruce, you probably won’t read this, but here is one for you: Our very own Gore Vidal, and good for him: “Homosexual, heterosexual are nouns I would not use. It’s like saying I prefer rice to potatoes.” Are they nouns? Not so sure. But let’s not nitpick. If you’d like me to expound I will.

Vidal is old and has left Italy, so little chance for me to ever lock horns with him. Leaving his vanities and name dropping aside, what a man to like and annoy one intensely, at the same time. He reminds me of my father. Opinionated, fiercely intelligent, a downright nuisance, to be taken on at every corner.

Then there is the Bird, one of my favourites.

U

Lost the blog

My heart is not in it.

I shall return to what I like best. Which is, apart from talking to friends and family, to write to you privately, answer your own blogs, personally. You know who you are.

U

Up to speed

I have a letter on my desk stating “Notice of Intended Prosecution”.

One of my friends occasionally tells me, in writing, and cooly, that there is no need for my being overdramatic. Which I quite agree with; except need doesn’t come into it. Yet, even by my standards, to be threatened with the courts just because I exceeded the speed limit (36 mph instead of 30 mph) along some god forsaken overcliff drive seems a little excessive.

Considering that it was the day of my nosebleed and the lost wallet somebody up there in the sky is really cocking a snook at me.

Also, looking at the letter with its various threats, warnings and mentions of section1 and 172 of The Road Traffic Offenders Act, 1988, you can’t help but feeling sorry for the clerk at the Central Ticket Office, Dorset Police, who has to fill in these forms.

Felix believes that it’s a joke how on the strength of being an “authority” money can just be conjured out of a private wallet. For the pleasure of which I will also get three penality points on my driving licence.

Only a couple of months ago I managed to write my way out of a similar situation (4mph over the limit) but they’ll probably have me on file now; so I really need to come up with a good excuse this time. It’s a full time job.

And, since we are on the subject of traffic, who would ever want the job of walking around car parks, checking parking tickets, and then writing out nasty little notes? I’d rather sweep the street and look at mankind through the magnifying glass of discarded cans, sweet wrappers, empty cigarette packets and the odd little lost toy.

U