Sir

Once a month the Esquire hits my letter box.

Why, I have, as yet, to work out. Felix doesn’t read it; and I am baffled as to its contents. Like most magazines it is boring – no not you, David Badiel; you always deliver. To make today’s experience worthwhile I rubbed an enclosed sample of the new Giorgio Armani “Attitude” on my wrists; it states ”to be remembered”. Judging by the stench I most certainly will be. I won’t venture out again until I have had a shower.

I also notice that “Bombay Sapphire” has changed its advertisement – not for the better; though it’s kept the trademark beautiful blue. Two years’ ago offering was so inspired I framed it, gracing one of my kitchen walls. The depiction reminds me, most affectionately, of a friend who knows how to serve a Martini, indeed any cocktail - and yes, two olives not just one.

To save you the bother, one paragraph’s worth of writing later and the smell has already worn off, or maybe my nose has gone on strike.

U