A cautionary tale

Yesterday was the blogging equivalent of Waterloo to me. Yes, down the toilet.

A few days ago I clicked on a blogroll link given by a friend.

Judging by the name and reading a few of the entries I thought the blogger to be a young woman, slightly lost, perhaps a little lonely, at a crossroad in her life. I felt compelled to comment on one of the entries since this person seemed genuinely upset about a friend’s dilemma; my “input” being politely acknowledged.

Yesterday, there was another entry; this time with photographs of the blogger. It showed the torso, no face. One fashion show and an Adam’s apple later, and in the first flush of how wrong I’d got it, I wrote to him saying that I must be very dim indeed since I had not realised that he is a man. I expressed what a pleasant surprise it was.

Consequently one of his friends (I guess female but then - as she said – who am I) jumped down my throat accusing me of all sorts of things; culminating in that I am a troll in the dense woods of the blogging world (she didn’t put it quite as poetically as that).

If anyone can explain to me what on earth can be offensive about mistaking gender identity in the mysterious world of blogging and expressing it, please do. I’d be grateful because I am clearly missing something. My comment was meant friendly, now I am an outcast; not that the poor man himself has had a chance to make his view known.

I did apologize profusely (though it’s hard to apologize for something when you don’t know what you have done wrong); not that the apology has been accepted.

It’s taught me one hell of a lesson, on top of all the others I have learnt in the last nine months since I started taking an interest in a handful of blogs.

Why do so many people assume the worst and will lash out without giving you a chance?

Oh, and yes, just in case: I am a woman.

U